Our son decided he could do whatever he wanted to do and he didn't have to listen to anyone. He got really into "gaming" on the computer and became addicted to the point where he would stay up almost all night, even on school nights. This led to his not going to school because he was too tired. Yet he would get up in the afternoon and it would start all over again. His therapist and his mentor, I felt, were not much help. My husband was out of town a lot and hadn’t been able to attend any of the therapy sessions. I felt that I had no control, or was made to feel that I had to ask the therapist or the mentor before I could discipline my son. I had discussed the issues our son was having with my husband, but he didn't want to deal with the situation as long as our son was going to school and getting good grades. Our son did start back going to school regularly, but had anger issues and still stayed up late.
I came to BILY on the advice of a friend . . .
It took me a couple of months to actually attend a meeting because I thought I could handle things myself; after all, my son was in therapy and had a mentor. As things turned out, it doesn't work that way - or I should say, things don’t always work as you assume they would. Through therapy and work with his mentor my son gained the confidence that he so needed because he was bullied at his previous school, but he also had anger issues and started to get physical with his dad and me.
Once I started going regularly to BILY meetings, things started to improve. I have learned that I can set the rules according to the BILY principles. I can set guidelines, and with the group's help, plan a goal to strive for each week, if needed. A couple of the dads in the BILY group enlightened me on how to set controls on the computer/gaming system so that we wouldn't have to cancel the Internet, and also information on how to set up controls to cut off the gaming system at a given time each day. As a result, my son now goes to bed at a much earlier time, and wakes up on his own and gets himself to school. That is a good start, considering the short amount of time that I have been attending the BILY meetings. My husband still hasn't been able to attend a meeting yet, but by my sharing some of the things I learned, he was able to arrange and put in codes on the gaming devices. We still have a long road ahead, but through my attending the BILY meetings regularly, I look forward to being able to work through situations before they get out of hand. Thank you.