I first learned about BILY through a flyer distributed at our daughter’s high school. They were hosting a community forum on illegal drugs in North County. Since we knew our daughter was using drugs, it prompted me to check out BILY’s website. I was extremely impressed with their program and knew it was all about the hardships we were living. However, I was not ready to seek my own help but I kept the flyer knowing that one day I would be ready. About 4 months later I went to my first BILY meeting. I immediately felt welcomed and at home. I knew with certainty that I had come to a place that would help change my life for the better. My husband joined me the next week and felt the same connection.
When I walked in the door to my first BILY meeting I was carrying such a heavy load on my shoulders . . .
I felt inadequate, overwhelmed, and that life was out of control. Our daughter was spiraling downward from mental health issues and drug addictions. Our teenage son was failing school and extremely disrespectful at home. Disagreements and discipline always seemed to escalate into confrontations with combative behavior. BILY has helped lessen the load I carry. It helped me understand that my children’s choices were theirs and not in my control. What I could control was defining expectations, and giving consequences when those expectations weren’t met. I realized that I cannot change my children but I can change myself and how
I react to their behavior. “Keep Calm and Carry On” is a common theme at BILY. Understanding and using the BILY principles has changed both my husband and me. As a result, our children’s behavior has improved dramatically. Life is not perfect, it never will be, but we now have a much more peaceful home and stronger relationships with our children. BILY continues to help us grow and become better people and better parents.